As a child I was kind of a romantic. I wanted the best for
everyone. I remember watching movies where a male character was genuinely in
love with a woman and pursued her, and I hoped I could be like that one day. I
really liked characters that were real men: lovers and fighters. My personal experience of love was also based on my
parents. I saw their love and affection for each other every day and knew that
that’s what love was all about and how it was supposed to be. I even remember
thinking that of course people who kissed in movies must have been married in
real life because why would you be kissing another woman, even in a movie?
I’m still a romantic at heart and want the best for others,
and that’s why Jennifer Lawrence’s interview in Vanity Fair really tugs at my
heart. Part of this article addresses the theft and exposure of nude photos of
some celebrities including herself. She describes this disgusting invasion of
privacy as “not a scandal. It is a sex crime…It is a sexual violation”.
What causes the “tug” at my heart is her justification for
the pictures existing. Her excuse for having the nude pictures is,
“I was in a
loving, healthy, great relationship for four years. It was long distance, and
either your boyfriend is going to look at porn or he’s going to look at you.”
I
think this sad and desperate (in my opinion) statement is an example of the
damage our society has done due to the objectification of the human person in
our culture.
As children we are told “what’s inside is what counts” lest
we judge people by appearance only. Yet, actions always speak louder than
words. You can’t watch a movie, a TV show,
drive down the highway, listen to the radio, walk through the mall or open up a
magazine without seeing that society places our true value on the exterior. We can
see that it has even impacted, based on her statements, Jennifer Lawrence who
portrays herself as a confident, brave, strong young adult.
If I could talk to her I would tell her that her statement
sounded like a cry of desperation. It sounds as if she’s settled for less and
will do whatever it takes to keep the attention of her significant other at the
time. I would tell her that she should expect more of the men she allows in her
life. She should cherish herself more than to allow his selfishness to control
her actions and the way she may view herself. She shouldn’t have to choose
between his objectifying her or another woman. Lawrence’s response shows the
disconnect that exists in our society between what most women deeply
desire—connection and real intimacy—and what most men are conditioned to give.
Men are taught that the degradation and objectification of women through
pornography is normal, but no woman wants to be degraded or to have her value
reduced to mere body parts. So many women feel it is better to degrade
themselves and use their bodies to keep the attention on them rather than men naturally
wanting to focus on one woman, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
To say that “either your boyfriend is going to look at porn
or he’s going to look at you” is to say that he is either going to lust after
another woman or he’s going to lust after you. No one wants lust! What people
want and need is love. Lust is the cause of the porn industry, prostitution,
and sex slavery. Lust is destructive, lust is poisonous, lust weakens, lust is
slavery. Love is healing, love is life saving, love is powerful, love is
freeing.
There are men out there striving to live a chaste life.
Chastity provides a strength that allows them to fight not just for themselves
but for the one they love. Chastity is a virtue and a virtuous man is a
powerful man. I implore all women that are called to the sacrament of holy
matrimony to look for a man striving for the virtue of chastity and that they
also strive to live this virtue. A man living a life of chastity is a man that
is willing to sacrifice. I implore men to live a chaste life because this
virtue will aid you in not just being a lover but being a fighter which will strengthen
your marriage, which will strengthen your fatherhood, which will change the
world.
"There is need for a crusade of
manliness and purity to counteract and undo the savage work of those who think
that man is a beast. . . . And that crusade is a matter for you" – St.
Josemaria Escriva
Here is a great article in response to the same article by a man I admire, Matt Fradd .
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