Perspectives

This past Saturday we put on a Confirmation retreat for 25 teens at our mission parish. During our final small group I asked what was their favorite part of the day. After all of the great games, music, food, leisure time, unanimously they said small group was their favorite thing. When asked why one young man responded, "Because we get to share and see everyone's different perspectives." 

The funny thing is that this is very common. Throughout all my years of ministry small groups are always a popular part of retreats or other youth events. When I helped launch a new ministry at a previous church I always ended utilize the time I had with teens in Confirmation to take a pulse on the changes. I'd let them know the Confirmation interview had ended and my next few questions were off the record. I'd ask them what they liked, disliked, what we should do more of, what we should never to again. One common answer was that (as long as they had a good small group leader) they loved small groups and the thing they would change would be MORE time in small group. By the time I left we were up to 30+ minutes in small group.

After high school it seems like people's interest in others' perspectives and their want to discuss those different perspectives diminishes. You can see that on full scale on social media. You aren't face to face so you can put your thoughts, opinions, agendas out there and if you so please insult, diminish, or ignore those you are engaging or those who want to comment. These even happens between friends, acquaintances, even in direct messaging. I know a couple people who were having a discussion about Kavanaugh situation. One person wanted to talk about women and their ability/inability to come forward when they have been mistreated. At one instance this same person expressed that she herself had been mistreated. Did the other person express any remorse or sympathy towards the person? No, this person simply went on with their argument. This same person shared with me that she has had an overwhelming amount of discussion with other women sharing that they have been abused and even raped and have never told anyone because they did not think it safe nor that they would be believed/accepted.

It seems that arguments, stances, agendas are held higher in value

than the person in front of the us, the person we are interacting with. We are unable to step outside of our own perspectives, or own need to be right and win and argument to see where the other person is coming from. If we can't stop and be human and truly listen, look the other in the eye, and recognize their dignity how else can we escape the polarization of our world.

It is interesting how perspective is such a powerful force in determining what we see and what we miss. - John O'Donohue, "Eternal Echoes: Celtic Reflections on Our Yearning to Belong