Hobbits, Valiant Mice, and Extraterrestrial Squirrels Will Save the World

Over this past year it's become more and more apparent to me how truly important small actions are. Everyone talks about it, a smile, a hug, a phone call to a friend, but just like any other action it takes time, patience, will, and sometimes courage to stop, step out of your comfort zone, and do it. I know. Every now and then I see someone and get the idea to give them a compliment, go up and talk to someone alone, roll down and talk to the homeless person on the corner asking for money and I don't. But, it's such a small thing.

A year ago I resolved that instead of telling someone I'd pray for them I'd do it right then and there. Those were powerful moments. But I've swayed from that lately. There's a guy at my gym who used to just be a lifter but he has since been an employee at the front desk and he has become a trainer. He is probably one of their best employees. When he's at the front desk he greets people and tells them by. When he is training someone he is attentive and focused on that person. I see the opposite from many other employees. I've wanted to pay him a compliment for a while. I have not, even when I was workout out right next to him this past week. Why? Discomfort? What's there to lose?

Literature has grasped this. We see in stories that it is the small things that are sometimes the most powerful. Hobbits helped a band of dwarves reclaim their kingdom and quite literally save the world from evil. A brave mouse was always ready for adventure and battle and would challenge others' cowardliness and call them into the challenge at hand. An extraterrestrial squirrel held Superman at bay. Bilbo, Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Reepicheep, and Ch'p, all tiny in stature, but stepped up to the plate when called.

We like to quote St. Therese of Lisieux and her Little Way, but sometimes it takes great courage, discomfort, and we don't always allow those to win out. When people are asked what they regret most in life it is usually the small things, not talking to someone, not telling someone they love them, not making that phone call, etc. And yet, who knows the power these simple gestures could have wielded.

"Miss no single opportunity of making some small sacrifice, here by a smiling look, there by a kindly word; always doing the smallest right and doing it all for love." - St. Therese of Lisieux

Here are just a few things from/about a few tiny characters that have made big impacts:
Hobbits: 
"Hobbits are an unobtrusive but very ancient people, more numerous formerly than they are today; for they love peace and quiet and good tilled earth: a well-ordered and well-farmed countryside was their favourite haunt. They do not and did not understand or like machines more complicated than a forge-bellows, a water-mill, or a hand-loom, thought they were skilful with tools. Even in ancient days they were, as a rule, shy of 'the Big folk', as they call us, and now they avoid us with dismay and are becoming hard to find. They are quick of hearing and sharp-eyed, and though they are inclined to be fat and do not hurry unnecessarily, they are nonetheless nimble and deft in their movements. They possessed from the first the art of disappearing swiftly and silently, when large folk whom they do not wish to meet come blundering by; and this are they have developed until to Men it may seem magical. But Hobbits have never in fact, studied magic of any kind, and their elusiveness is due solely to a professional skill  that heredity and practice, and a  close friendship with the earth, have rendered inimitable by bigger and clumsier raced.

For they are a little people, smaller than Dwarves: less stout and stocky, that is, even when they are not actually much shorter. Their height is variable, ranging between two and four feet of our measure. They seldom now reach three feet; but they have dwindled, they say, and in ancient days they were taller. According to the Red Book, Bandobras Took (Bullroarer), son of Isengrim the Second, was four foot five and able to ride a horse." - The Fellowship of the Ring, J.R.R. Tolkien

"My Dear Frodo!" exclaimed Gandalf. "Hobbits really are amazing creatures, as I have said before. You can learn all that there is to know about their ways in a month, and yet after a hundred years they can still surprise you at a pinch." - The Fellowship of the Ring, J.R.R. Tolkien

Yes, it's not from the book but it's so good:

Reepicheep:

"There Trufflehunter called at the mouth of a little hole in a green bank and out popped the last thing Caspian

expected - a Talking Mouse. He was of course bigger than a common mouse, well over a foot high when he stood on his hind legs, and with ears nearly as long as (though broader than) a rabbit's. His name was Reepicheep and he was a gay and martial mouse. He wore a tiny little rapier at his side and twirled his long whiskers as if they were a moustache." - Prince Caspian, C.S. Lewis

"There are twelve of us, Sire" he said with a dashing and graceful bow, " and I place all the resources of my people unreservedly at your Majesty's disposal." - Reepicheep, Prince Caspian

"Sire," said Reepicheep. "My life is ever at your command but my honor is my own...Perhaps if it were your pleasure that I should be a marshal of the lists, it would content them." - Reepicheep, Prince Caspian

"I thought I heard someone laughing just now. If anyone present wishes to make me the subject of his wit, I am very much as his service - with my sword - whenever he has leisure." - Reepicheep, Prince Caspian

""Come back, Reepicheep, you little ass!" shouted Peter. "You'll only be killed. This is no place for mice." But the ridiculous little creatures were dancing in and out among the feet of both armies, jabbing with their swords. Many a Telmarine warrior that day felt his foot suddenly pierced as if by a dozen skewers, hopped on one leg cursing the pain, and fell as often as not. If he fell, the mice finished him off; if he did not, someone else did." - Prince Caspian

"If I were address peasants or slaves," he said, "I might supposed that t his suggestion proceeded from cowardice. But I hope it will never be told in Narnia that a company of noble and royal person in the flower of their age turned tail because they were afraid of the dark." (It is then mentioned that there is no practical use in entering the Dark Island) "Use? Use, Captain? If by use you mean filling our bellies or our purses, I confess it will be no use at all. So far as I know we did not set sail to look for things useful but to seek honor and adventure. And here is as great an adventure as ever I heard of, and here, if we turn back, no little impeachment of all our honors." - Reepicheep, Voyage of the Dawn Treader

"My own plans are made. While I can, I sail east in the Dawn Treader. When she fails me, I paddle east in my coracle. When she sins, I shall swim east with my four paws. And when I can swim no longer, if I have not reached Aslan's country, or shot over the edge of the world in some vast cataract, I shall sink with my nose to the sunrise and Peepiceek will be head of the talking mice in Narnia." - Reepicheep, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

Ch'p:

Ch'p is an anthropomorphic squirrel from a planet with inhabitants of the same make up. After being imprisoned and sentenced to death by an invading army a Guardian of the Universe appeared and gave him a green power ring. After escaping and defeating the army he entered training to become a Green Lantern. Just check out this exchange between him and Superman. Vicious!

"Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love." - St. Theresa of Calcutta

Let Your Prayer Be Interruptible

I mentioned in the previous post about getting upset over not following through with my plans for the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe. I know I'm not the only one that does that. What I mean is sweating when we get slightly off track our perfectly planned prayer, devotion, liturgical calendar, novena, consecration life. And I've done it before, I've been asked about it, and I've asked after freaking out about it. What do I do if I missed a day? What do I do if I missed I ended a decade to early? What if I prayed too many Hail Marys? Someone needed help while I was headed to mass and I didn't know what to do? I mean come on it's one of the big 10!

One thing I've learned recently is that God, faith, prayer is simple. We over think things and make them way to complicated. We are meant for a relationship with God. How do we start, build, sustain that? Prayer. What is prayer? Conversation. What's the correct way? Whatever way works best for you. What if I forget? Make it up. What if I pray too many, too few, too short, too long? Who cares? How do I start? JUST DO IT!

We want things to be perfect. But life is messy. God knows that. He came down into our mess and lived in it. When did Jesus pray? Before things. After things. During things. But the main take home point is that he prayed. I think if our prayer life is adding stress to our life we are doing it wrong.

And in all reality sometimes life itself must become our prayer. I'm thinking of St. Therese of Liseux and her little way here. But not even that, I mean sometimes we can and should choose life, what is happening right in front of us, over our perfectly planned prayer life. Your kids barge in on your perfectly quiet prayer time. Choose them sometimes. Your spouse wants to talk when you are delving into your spiritual reading? Choose him or her. And shockingly, even the ultimate prayer, the mass, can take a back seat to life. Let me explain.

What I am about to tell you happened and I wasn't sure at the time if it was OK but it felt so right and I didn't stress over it. It wasn't until I read a book that I've referenced often that I assured I had made the right choice. One Sunday last year we went to the Sacred Heart Co-Cathedral in downtown Houston. I don't remember why but I ended up leaving mass to run to the car for something. I ran into a homeless woman on my way to the car and she was asking for money. I did not have any cash but I offered to walk with her to the Pappas BBQ across the street and get her some food. This took a good 20 minutes. 20 minutes away from mass. Let's just say Erika was pretty worried about what had happened to me. But, 20 minutes?! Was i committing a mortal sin? I honestly did not feel guilty. And thanks to St. Bernard of Clairvaux I know it was the right choice:

Who will doubt that in prayer a man is speaking with God? But how often, at the call of charity, we are drawn away, torn away, for the sake of those who need to speak to us or be helped! How often does dutiful repose yield dutifully to the uproar of business! How often is a book laid aside in good conscience that we may sweat at manual work! How often for the sake of administering worldly affairs we very rightly omit even the solemn celebration of Masses! A preposterous order; but necessity knows no law. Love in action devises its own order. - Fulfillment of All Desire: A Guidebook for the Journey to God Based on the Wisdom of the Saints

St. Bernard told his monks that he appreciated their respect for his busy schedule but he never wanted to be uninterruptible. He wanted to be on the side of love.

So yeah, my daughter getting sick ruined my plans for going to the special mass for the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe and the gathering after. I could have gotten upset. I could have put my family in an uncomfortable situation and brought them. I could have been a total grinch and gone by myself, "Well I'm not going to miss it!" But those plans had to be pushed aside so I could go home and love on my family. She's a mom. I'm pretty sure she approved.

Choose Joy

Fr. Mike Schmitz, chaplain for the University of Minnesota-Duluth Campus Ministry, has started a new homily series for the Advent season called "Joy to the World". The norms for Advent state that "Advent is thus a period for devout and joyful expectation." Joy! Fr. Mike says that joy is an abiding sense of well being, knowing that there is a God and he cares for me. G.K. Chesterton describes joy as the

appropriate response to being--that everything rather than nothing is. I understand this as even though we may not be happy due to unfortunate events in our lives it is still possible to be joyful because we exist, we have life, we have a God that loves us, even if the world around us (some people may say that is 2016) is falling apart and we aren't happy.

Fr. Mike points out that so many times for him and others he speaks with it is so much easier to focus on the negative. Someone may ask us how we are doing or how our weekend or break was and we immediately go to the negative, what went wrong. And I've seen that in my own life. So many times when people gather to visit, share a meal, etc they end up talking about what is going wrong, complaining, gossiping. Why? Why do we do that? We have to, we get to choose joy.

I could have done that after this weekend, or the past 5 days. If someone had asked me how this weekend was I could have focused on the negative. And there was plenty. But hindsight, through a choice for joy, I see this past weekend differently. here's how it looked.

Friday: 
Negative: After being blessed by my awesome wife in being cool with me going to the gym late because  I just really needed the release, I ended up rubbing her back and holding her hair out of the way as she was puking at 3AM Friday morning. I automatically knew that my plans for the next day were gone, most importantly I was going to miss out on my designated time for work and I had already lost a lot of work time last week. So Friday I had the girls to myself and I had to take care of Erika. I also had to take care of some errands for her that were way out of my way though I was happy to do them.

Joy: I got to spend all day with my girls, just us. I got to love on Erika and take care of her and make sure that her plans for the day weren't a total bust. That evening I brought the girls to Adore Family Dinner. For a few hours we got to surround ourselves with awesome loving people and break bread, share good drink (I brought some Pumpkinator to share) and close the night with the host family's evening Advent prayer and singing. Singles, couples, moms, dads, babies on the way, big and small families, gathered in joy.

Saturday: 
Negative: Erika still sick. Mid day I found out I needed to pick up some things I dropped off for Erika the previous day and run another errand on the way home. I also needed to pick up some supplies for a movie night I was throwing at Shrine of the True Cross that night in Dickinson from 6-9PM. I wanted to get there by at least 4 because I wanted to use the projector but I had no idea how sound would work, if the room was a good space for that, etc. On the way there, what is normally a 50 min. drive turned into an hour and forty five minute drive due to highway six being shut down. I got there at 5:30!

Joy: Another day I got to serve Erika. Even though we got to Dickinson way later, I got to take my girls

with me which actually ended up being great. No one came for the first hour so I figured the girls and I would have our own movie night. Later some teens came so we started a new movie and had a blast. The girls had so much fun watching movies, eating junk food, and being goofy. I had so much fun and was so glad some teens came. I had a great moment with a mom. She asked me how things were going, if I though it was going bad, better, or exactly how I thought. I told her it was going great. Small numbers but the fact that there are numbers in the beginning building stages that was huge. She was so relieved and expressed how she was hoping I wouldn't be discouraged. It was great to receive her care and support for what we're trying to accomplish.

Sunday: Erika on the mend. Pretty relaxed day. Elanor developed a 102 fever during mass.

Monday: 
Negative: Super late night the night before. Elanor knocked out all day. We didn't get up til noon. I was really hoping to enter enter into the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe but couldn't. I really started to get upset about this. We missed the evening mass.

Joy: Erika was better and had a fairly good day with the girls. Adeline was actually pretty mellow. I had the largest showing of youth at our Funday Munday event thus far. Even though we did not get to do what I wanted to celebrate the day, it was a good day.

Tuesday:
Negative: Elanor developed pink eye. Both girls were not cooperative and there was tons of whining. I was done with the day by noon. I then got to work super late. I was supposed to be there by 2 to prep for my 1 on 1 Confirmation and make some calls but I didn't get in til 3:30.

Joy: My 1 on 1 was awesome! I hadn't seen this teen in a few weeks and we caught up and chatted about life. We went well over our time. I made some calls and had great responses from people wanting to help with our ministry. Erika and the girls got to talk about St. Lucy, pray, and celebrate with some cinnamon rolls. I got to end the night giving Erika a massage and getting some well needed work in while while watching The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug.

So much went wrong in the past few days. But, but, in the grand scheme of things, life is good. The glimpses of the good overshadowed the negative and I chose to enter into those realities. I choose joy. So for the rest of this season of Advent and on into Christmas and the new year, lets choose joy.

Beginning of Our New Adventure

*I wrote this back in August

So we are in the midst of our fundraising and on the cusp of starting our mission at Shrine of the True Cross

in Dickinson, TX. It's been a trying and busy time for us. We're a little nervous since I've received my last paycheck. But, we're still at peace and excited to start this new chapter, this new adventure in our lives.

I do have to say though, fundraising has been fun. I did not expect that. I worked at a nonprofit that lived on people's support, but I had no part in development. But, I did learn something about development/fundraising: If you really believe in what you are doing, you should have no shame in asking for support for it. Now that's true, but that doesn't take the butterflies away, especially in your first few meetings. But I have to say my favorite things are sharing our passion for what we are starting and how we got here, and getting to be with people. We get to sit down with friends, acquaintances, old employers, etc, catch up, break bread, share coffee, share life together. Whether the person tells us yes they will support us and sign up on the spot or they tell us no because they don't believe in giving to church things, we get to spend time with people we love.

I do have to admit though, that there was a moment when I thought, "I'm asking people for money. I'm asking people for money to help my family live while other people are working 9 to 5s to earn that same money. Is this right?" But the reality is, I'm doing something that others aren't. I'm doing something that others aren't willing to do. The ministry I'll be doing isn't my job. Well, yeah it is, but I get to do my passion so it doesn't feel like one. Yet, my mission isn't what puts food on the table. The fundraising is what puts food on the table. The support from people that truly believe in what we are doing is what puts food on the table and eventually a roof over our heads. My job, is fundraising. My job is telling people about how we are dedicating our lives to doing something that others won't do and that they can join us in that by helping us live so we can do that.

But in reality, it isn't only monetary support that we are gaining. The blessings and wisdom I/we have received has been surprising. We've made connections with people through others, we've had people telling us that they are willing to help in multiple ways, we've even had people go out of their way to bless us in pretty large ways that are not monetary.

It's definitely a humbling experience. It's a lesson in patience. It's a training field for working. Someone told me they couldn't imagine fundraising for a family of 4. I said, "Neither can I!" So here we go!

Nice, France, Happens Daily Sans Truck

*I originally wrote this back in July.

I was talking with Erika about whether the world is getting worse or does it seem worse because of all the media and everyone having cameras so everything gets caught. I personally think it's a little of both with more of the reason behind the possible media exposure. And with the media exposure sometimes some events get more attention than others and people get upset over that, "Well you supported 'Pray for X' why not 'Pray for Y'".

All of these events and the loss of life deserves attention and our prayers. But I think there's a danger in these events becoming a distraction from what is right in front of us. All of a sudden what is wrong with the world is "over there", "those people", "that country" has problems. And some of those notions are understandable. Bombs aren't going on everywhere and people aren't being run over by trucks everywhere. It's shocking. But, it's that subtle "Hey look over there" that can allow things nearby to fall apart.

I'm so excited for our new journey with Adore Ministries because we focus on the right here and right now. We focus on the people around us. We put value in the time spent with the person right in front of us, in our home, in our neighborhood, in our schools and community.

I bring this up because an advantage of being in ministry is you get to see behind the white picket fences, behind the house walls, and see what Screwtape likes to take people's attention from and cause non action and what moving trucks are reeking havoc in our lives. This past week I was at Life Teen Camp Covecrest with some teens we brought. It is here, at the one location at camp where you can catch wifi, while checking Instagram that I found out about Nice. It was a great week as always. But something happened on our last day that broke my heart. They brought up some teens to share what they had experienced during the week. Teens shared how they met God for the first time, how they were able to get back on track with the prayer, etc. But one girl particularly made me think. She shared how about a year ago she was at camp and had a great experience. Yet, during the school year someone bought a bottle of Tylenol, brought it to school, gave it to her, and told her she should swallow the whole bottle. She did. That night she was brought to the hospital. She survived. This week, she needed God to show up. He did, and she built a new community that week to go home with and knows now that she does not need to be controlled by others that obviously don't love her.

No bombs, no moving trucks, no police violence, but look at the ways we destroy the people around us. Sarcasm, ignoring the lonely, not forgiving, not spending time, gossip, being judgemental, holding grudges, tearing each other down, etc. They aren't quick kills, but they only lead to death, nothing else. Maybe not always death of the body but definitely death of the spirit of a person.

So yes, let's pay attention to what is going on in the world around us. But, don't forget to take care of those around us. And as we examine how we got to bombs, trucks, and police shootings, let's examine ourselves to see how we are loving or not.

Sing Like You Think No One's Listening

In my journey to be unashamed of my faith and for all of my answers to God's calling me into uncomfortable situations to grow me and use me, I'm seeking to live unhinged, joy-filled, untamed like the Lion Aslan. I mentioned before that I consecrated myself and He took it seriously. I prayed to dedicate myself. Now I pray to live in the present intentionally to listen to his call. He answers those prayers. He's the one who told us to ask, seek, and knock, but I don't think we always take him seriously.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. - Matthew 7:7-8

One of my favorite songs from Straylight Run has this chorus and bridge:

Sing like you think no one's listening,

You would kill for this,

Just a little bit,

Just a little bit,

You would, you would... 

Sing me something soft,

Sad and delicate,

or loud and out of key,

Sing me anything,

we're glad for what we've got,

Done with what we've lost

Our whole lives laid out right in front of us...

Now this song has it's own meaning but for me lately it's all been about prayer and God's reaching out to us telling us how much He wants to hear from us. I know that everyone wishes they could live out who they truly are and not be afraid of judgement. We wish we could sing out loud, dance in public, express ourselves in our own way, dress, look, speak, act how we truly can and are. But, we succumb to self consciousness and worry about what others might think. We even worry about how God might think about us. Yet, He has His arms wide open ready to pour His love and graces into our lives.

To me He's asking us to give him anything, give him everything, the good, the bad, the ugly. It doesn't have to be pretty. Just like our singing when worship leaders say that if He gave you a terrible voice, give it right back to him in singing. St. Augustine said that singing is like praying twice. He wants us. He wants and will start healing us with anything, He just wants us to let Him in.

We like to talk about the mustard seed, the coin the old woman gives, the young boy that had only so much fish, but I don't think we believe it is good enough in reality. We want to be perfect first. We call people hypocrites who go to church and are liars, cheats, adulterers, addicts, sinners, yet that is exactly where they...we need to be. Jesus said He came for the sick. The Church is not a country club for people to come in and gloat about how they have everything together. It is a battlefield hospital for the wounded, confused, the lost, disgusting, the sinner.

Even now during worship I worry about who's watching. I get nervous about acting out my worship with my body, "Should I open my hands, how bout put my arms up". Honestly, sometimes I want to be throwing my arms and dreads around. Who cares what others think (well obviously I do). This is not for them, it's for God. But then I make it all about me and not God. In Bishop Fulton Sheen's book "The Seven Last Words" he recounts a story when Jesus appears to St. Jerome and asks him what he will give him:
Jerome answered, "I will give You my writings," to which Our Lord replied that it was not enough. "Then," said Jerome, "what shall I give You? My life of penance and mortification?" But the answer was, "Even that is not enough!" "What have I left to give you?" cried Jerome. Our Blessed Lord answered, "Jerome, you can give Me your sins." He tells Jerome to give Him the worst of him so that he can then be free, which is what he came and died for.

In those moments of life, or worship, of just being I'll try, and I encourage you, to sing like no one is listening or watching, although, He is. I mean it's for Him anyway, right?

God is Holding a Pistol to My Head

Ok that title was a little dramatic. I manipulated a quote from Innocent Smith of G.K. Chesterton's
Manalive:

“I am going to hold a pistol to the head of the Modern Man. But I shall not use it to kill him–only to bring him to life.” 

 Let me explain. Innocent Smith is Chesterton's Mary Poppins. He appears in people's lives and instead of reprimanding them and singing them into living a happy life he pulls guns on people and puts them in incredibly uncomfortable situations to call them to live fully alive, as St. Irenaeus would put it.

In this past week's spiritual direction session my director pointed something out to me that truly opened my eyes. So, I had admitted in our first session that I want to be unashamed and able to share the reason for my joy and who provides it for me with anyone. Yet, I still hold on to some control of who I share with. But she pointed out, like many people say, that if you ask for a gift he will put you in situations for you to use it and grow. She also pointed out my consecration bracelet and the fact that I wear a scapular. Both devotions are all about giving EVERYTHING to God and allowing him to use me as he pleases. She pointed out that he takes those requests seriously!

Since becoming a missionary, since my last session, due to hindsight, I've seen so much spiritual growth in my self. I have shared with people that it took us becoming missionaries for me and Erika to start doing things we've been trying to do as a couple for almost 9 years. We sit down every time we get paid to work out our budget for the month. We have picked a set day of the week to check in and see how each other is doing mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally. But the most growth I've seen has been in my comfort level with other people.

I'm naturally an introvert (INFP if you care to know) and many times in my life I have allowed that to be an excuse to get out of situations, to not go places, to not talk to people. But, as a missionary, I survive through people's generosity and believing in us as a family and our mission. So, I have to meet with people to share our mission and our joy for it and invite them along for the journey. Translation: I have to talk with strangers, people I barely know, go into their homes, go out for coffee or a meal, and get to know them and share my story. This has never been my thing. This is uncomfortable. This is inconvenient. Yet, i have grown to truly enjoy this and look forward to all of these meetings.

Also, in our new mission at Shrine of the True Cross, I have to start knowing the people, the families, the youth, and my co workers. Although this is an integral part of ministry they always make me nervous and self conscious. Sometimes they still do, but as I mentioned in a previous post, I ask God to give me the courage and to be present in the appointments he assigns. Heck, I'm still sometimes nervous with the youth. One morning I introduced myself to the school body at the church school and then figured it would be a waste not to visit the middle school students at lunch. So, I wasted 10 minutes of their lunch being nervous in my office, then walked over to the school building (I took the longest route), then wasted another five minutes in the hall way acting like I was doing something on my phone. When I finally worked up the courage to walk into the cafeteria and talk to the students they told me they thought I was playing Pokemon Go. But, I had a blast and they were totally welcoming.

I consecrated myself to God through two different devotions, and have renewed one annually since. He took that seriously. My spiritual director pointed that out and that He has been putting me in situations and I have been saying either "yes" or "no". My prayer is to one day have "yes" be my only answer.