Perspectives

This past Saturday we put on a Confirmation retreat for 25 teens at our mission parish. During our final small group I asked what was their favorite part of the day. After all of the great games, music, food, leisure time, unanimously they said small group was their favorite thing. When asked why one young man responded, "Because we get to share and see everyone's different perspectives." 

The funny thing is that this is very common. Throughout all my years of ministry small groups are always a popular part of retreats or other youth events. When I helped launch a new ministry at a previous church I always ended utilize the time I had with teens in Confirmation to take a pulse on the changes. I'd let them know the Confirmation interview had ended and my next few questions were off the record. I'd ask them what they liked, disliked, what we should do more of, what we should never to again. One common answer was that (as long as they had a good small group leader) they loved small groups and the thing they would change would be MORE time in small group. By the time I left we were up to 30+ minutes in small group.

After high school it seems like people's interest in others' perspectives and their want to discuss those different perspectives diminishes. You can see that on full scale on social media. You aren't face to face so you can put your thoughts, opinions, agendas out there and if you so please insult, diminish, or ignore those you are engaging or those who want to comment. These even happens between friends, acquaintances, even in direct messaging. I know a couple people who were having a discussion about Kavanaugh situation. One person wanted to talk about women and their ability/inability to come forward when they have been mistreated. At one instance this same person expressed that she herself had been mistreated. Did the other person express any remorse or sympathy towards the person? No, this person simply went on with their argument. This same person shared with me that she has had an overwhelming amount of discussion with other women sharing that they have been abused and even raped and have never told anyone because they did not think it safe nor that they would be believed/accepted.

It seems that arguments, stances, agendas are held higher in value

than the person in front of the us, the person we are interacting with. We are unable to step outside of our own perspectives, or own need to be right and win and argument to see where the other person is coming from. If we can't stop and be human and truly listen, look the other in the eye, and recognize their dignity how else can we escape the polarization of our world.

It is interesting how perspective is such a powerful force in determining what we see and what we miss. - John O'Donohue, "Eternal Echoes: Celtic Reflections on Our Yearning to Belong

Miracles? Meh...Have You Watched the Grass Grow?

I just read something that really impacted me and I decided to come write about it right away, so here goes...

This year has introduced a new facet of our mission at Shrine of the True Cross. The assistant director of religious ed asked us to open the first half hour of each night. Joyously we obliged and we open up with a game or video of some sort and a brief presentation over the upcoming Sunday Gospel. I usually start prepping for the next week a week in advance. I presented tonight so I'm already delving into the next Sunday's Gospel which is on the wedding at Cana in John John 2:1-11 .

I try to do plenty of thinking, praying, reading, and listening over each reading. Tonight I did a Google search for "fathers of the church water to wine". I have not done a lot of reading of the fathers, it has been on my least of things to do. What came up was a reflection from St. Augustine on this Gospel passage. This is only the first paragraph, the only thing I've read so far:

The miracle indeed of our Lord Jesus Christ, whereby He

made the water into wine, is not marvelous to those who know that it was God's doing. For He who made wine on that day at the marriage feast, in those sex water-pots, which He commanded to be filled with water, the self-same does this every year in vines. For even as that which the servants put into the water-pots was turned into wine by the doing of the Lord, so in like manner also is what the clouds pour forth changed into wine by the doing of the same Lord. But we do not wonder at the latter, because it happens every year: it has lost its marvelousness by its constant recurrence. And yet it suggests a greater consideration than that which was done in the water-pots. For who is there that considers the words of God, whereby this whole world is governed and regulated, who is not amazed and overwhelmed with miracles? If he considers the vigorous power of a single grain of any seed whatever, it is a mighty thing, it inspires him with awe. But since men, intent on a different matter, have lost the consideration of the works of God, by which they should daily praise Him as the Creator, God has, as it were, reserved to Himself the doing of certain extraordinary actions, that, by striking them with wonder, He might rouse men as from sleep to worship Him. A dead man has risen again; men marvel: so many are born daily, and none marvels. If we reflect more considerately, it is a matter of greater wonder for one to be who was not before, than for one who was to come to life again. Yet the same God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, does by His word all these things; and it is He who created that governs also. The former miracles He did by His Word, God with Himself; the latter miracles He did by the same Word incarnate and for us made man. As we wonder at the things which were done by the man Jesus, so let us wonder at the things which where done by Jesus God. By Jesus God were made heaven, and earth, and the sea, all the garniture of heaven, the abounding riches of the earth, and the fruitfulness of the sea-all these things which lie within the reach of our eyes were made by Jesus God. And we look at these things, and if His own spirit is in us they in such manner please us, that we praise Him that contrived them; not in such manner that turning ourselves to the works we turn away from the Maker, and, in a manner, turning our face to the tings made and our backs to Him that made them.

Yes, Jesus did great miracles. But, it's easy to forget that God sustains, God provides, God is acting in every second of every day holding everything in existence to do what he has created it to do. The seasons, plants, animals, us creating new life, gravity, the tides, starts dying, stars being born, etc. This is why it is so easy to step out into nature and imagine, to wonder, to wander. I think it is why people, even people who don't believe in anything, find it so easy to be enthralled with the beauty of the universe. I think it's why I was able to make this IG and Facebook post about my daughters playing in a drain along a bike path behind our house:

What I love about Tolkien, what I love about Lewis, what I love about Rowling, what I love about Bill Watterson, and what I love about my daughters is that the world IS more than what we can just see. This bike path, once you step off and set your foot into the grass the grass becomes a farm and your parents have passed away and you and your sister were left to carry on. Those trees are a forest and your warrior father has to teach you to fight because there is war brewing across the river (ditch). Trolls and dragons also sometimes lurk in those trees. That drain, it’s a kitchen. Sometimes it also serves as a dungeon when you are captured by a monster. If you pull branches from the plant on the left you now have swords or lightsabers. 

“Still round the corner there may wait
A new road or a secret gate
And though I oft have passed them by
A day will come at last when I
Shall take the hidden paths that run
West of the Moon, East of the sun.” -Tolkien. 

“Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.” - C.S Lewis. 

“Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that which is not, and therefore the fount of all invention and innovation. In its arguably most transformative and revelatory capacity, it is the power to that enables us to empathize with humans whose experiences we have never shared.” -J. K. Rowling

But how easy is it to walk by a rose bush and not stop to smell them. How easy is it to run down the same path day after day and not notice the trees or the birds that live in them. How easy is it to not pay attention and get bother by the children you have created along with the Creator. How easy is it to live in a house and not know the people who surround you? Each blade of grass contains wonder an mystery. Each person has the image and likeness of his or her Creator. Each sunrise and sunset tells us good morning and good night respectively. I would like to regain wonder in every day life.

1 Hallelujah!

I

Praise the LORD from the heavens;

praise him in the heights.

2Praise him, all you his angels;

give praise, all you his hosts.^a

3Praise him, sun and moon;

praise him, all shining stars.

4Praise him, highest heavens,^*

you waters above the heavens.

5Let them all praise the LORD’s name;

for he commanded and they were created,^b

6Assigned them their station forever,

set an order that will never change.

II

7Praise the LORD from the earth,

you sea monsters and all the deeps of the sea;^c

8Lightning and hail, snow and thick clouds,

storm wind that fulfills his command;

9Mountains and all hills,

fruit trees and all cedars;^d

10Animals wild and tame,

creatures that crawl and birds that fly;^e

11Kings of the earth and all peoples,

princes and all who govern on earth;

12Young men and women too,

old and young alike.

13Let them all praise the LORD’s name,

for his name alone is exalted,

His majesty above earth and heaven.^f

14^*He has lifted high the horn of his people;

to the praise of all his faithful,

the Israelites, the people near to him.

Hallelujah! - Psalm 148 

Appreciation is Not What It Seems

I've been reading through C.S. Lewis' autobiography, Surprised by Joy. It's not what I expected, and he even says that it probably won't be what people think it will be. But in his fashion there have been some areas where he has taken a deeper look at ordinary life to really challenge a common thought or action and to see it from a different more true to reality angle.

Lewis writes about how when he was young his family would be invited to parties where the locals would gather for dance and mingling. He was not fond of these things at all. Later in life he comments how when his father finally gave him permission to turn down invitations he did so. At these event people would take part in gossip and small talk things he was not interested in. So as to seem interested and to take part in conversations he felt forced into he would feign interest. He mad a firm resolution to not discuss things he was actually interested in due to people thinking his big words and more heady interested were adorable and would egg him on.

Through these experiences and other experiences of being reprimanded as a child he discovered how unjust our lives can be when we are trying to be and live honestly and how we may be rewarded when we do the opposite.

"I am here struck by the curious mixture of justice and injustice in our lives. We are blamed for real faults but usually not on the right occasions. I was, no doubt, and was blamed for being, a conceited boy; but the blame was usually attached to something in which no conceit was present. Adults often accuse a child of vanity without pausing to discover on what points children in general, or that child in particular, are likely to be vain. Thus it was for years a complete mystery to me that my father should stigmatize as "affection" my complaints about the itching and tickling of new underclothes. I see it all now; he had in mind a social legend associating delicacy of skin with refinement and supposed that I was claiming to be unusually refined. In reality I was in simple ignorance of that social legend, and if vanity had come into the matter would have been much prouder of having a king like a sailor. I was being accused of an offense which I lacked resources to commit. I was on another occasion called "affected" for asking what "stirabout" was. It is, in fact, a "low" Irish word for porridge. To certain adults it seems obvious that he who claims not to know the Low must be pretending to be High. Yet the real reason why I asked was that I had never happened to hear the word; had I done so I should have piqued myself on using it."

This got thinking about raising my own kids and seeing other people interact with young people. Children are many times considered and called brats or needy when they cry and seemingly misbehave when they are young. But, in reality, they may have no other way to communicate than to cry such as babies. Or they may not know the words to use to express how they are feeling. So we able them as something they actually aren't living out. We don't get out of our own views of how older children or adults act to investigate what is really going on.

I really started meditating on this during this time of accumulating gifts especially during this time of year. Children are said to be unappreciative if they break a toy or leave toys on the floor or outside after they are finished playing or move on to another form of play. But that is how more mature people show appreciation. We take care of things, keep them clean, put them away. But for young people, they show their appreciation by playing with and using items for the adventures, parties, tea times, battles, orphanages they take part in in their imaginations. That toy has been left where it was because it went through the throughs of imagination. Now, on to appreciating another toy. But we say they are unappreciative because they aren't putting them back where they go when in reality they are appreciating the heck out of it.

Breaking things is even still appreciation. They naturally want to push the envelope and see how they or their item can go. How far can I hit, push, jump, stand on, until I've gone to far. Adeline got a toy violin for Christmas and that item received the most joy out of any other gift. But it wasn't more than a day or two later when she had already broken the bow. How did she do that you ask. Well, she was standing on it. She wanted to see if she could. Could it handle it. In fact, she stands on everything! She wasn't be in unappreciative. She was devastated when it broke. But an older passerby would point out how she, in their mind, is as well as not taking care of her things.

Now in reality, we do need to teach our kids about taking care of their toys so that they can appreciate and use them for longer. But I think what needs to be corrected is our labeling of them in the moment, because the reality is these are actually prized possessions that are being used and played with and adding to imagination. They aren't kept in the box, to gather dust, to then one day be sold because they are still in mint condition.

...a future full of hope.

I realized over the weekend that it was the two year anniversary of our family jumping out of the safety of the ship and joining Adore Ministries as a missionary family.

There have been so many blessings during this time. There have also been some curveballs named "Harvey". Who thought that our mission would be displaced until further notice and housed at a different parish?

But as we've experienced, God is good and he does provide. Our youth group and events are back in full swing, we are still helping families put their lives back together, and we continue to pray for you and your families for your making this possible.

I started a blog a while back about our Harvey experience but I never finished it. But I wanted to share something that has been on my heart and that I've been speaking about every chance I get: I'm sure you have all heard/read Jeremiah 29: 11 "For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe! Plans to give you a future full of hope." But it is so important to realize when God is saying these things. He is telling his people about this future of hope while they are in exile! In the midst of such terror it is hard to think about a hopeful future. But what does he tell them to do? "Build houses to dwell in; plant gardens, and eat their fruits. Take wives and beget sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters husbands, so that they may bear sons and daughters. There you must increase in number, not decrease. Promote the welfare of the city to which I had exiled you; pray for it to the Lord for upon its welfare depends your own." - Jeremiah 29: 5-7. In the midst of tragedy God tells them to continue to live and promote life and to keep on keepin on. But we can't do that alone!

Soon after Harvey we had a mission trip group from Hinkley High School work in houses in Dickinson. I was told a story about when they drove into town how one of the students said, "Why are we here? Everything looks fine." But by that time all of the trash for the most part had been picked up. It wasn't until she entered a home and saw all of the walls torn down and all the mold still left behind that she said, "Oh, I get it." Tragedies like hurricanes make getting out of our comfort zones and entering into others' houses and lives easy. Shoot, I could tear out a whole house of walls and never talk to the owner. But God does work through us in these times and we see real love and care for our neighbor. It opens up opportunity to step into the houses of others' hearts and see how they are really doing on the inside. But honestly, that does not impress me. I know as humans we are good. What will impress me is when after all of the sheet rock, furniture, carpet, tile, belongings are replaced and everyone moves back into their homes that the stepping out and into each others lives continues. We continue caring for and reaching out to our neighbors. Instead of just a wave we walk over and ask how each other is doing and really mean it. When our neighbor loses their job, instead of saying well cowboy up, we say "Hey, how about y'all come over for dinner."

Although displaced, our youth group is back in full swing. We continue to aid those affected by the floods. We are looking to the future and striving to loving those right in front of us.

Of God, Novenas, and Buffalo: Part 3: The Reason for my Journey

Earlier this year Dorothy had found a lump in her breast…breast cancer. At St. Ann they have a powerful and active charismatic prayer group. In between appointments she had them pray over her for healing. At her next appointment the lump was gone and she was clear. So of course I wanted to be prayed over!

Dorothy had spoken with Leonard who leads the prayer group and they had decided they would hold a simple prayer session for me. After we were finished we told the group that I was going to be prayed over, it wasn’t mandatory, but all were welcome. Everyone that could come came. Before we started Leonard gave a beautiful explanation of what was going to happen and the power of prayer. We started with some praise and worship and Leonard was so reminiscent of Johnny Cash. When it was time Leonard called me up and his team assembled to intercede and catch me in case I rested in the spirit. He also invited others to come up and lay hands on me. Leonard asked what I wanted prayer for. I named my shoulder because I’ve been having issues and my head because I’ve had migraines since 1^st grade. We prayed. Nothing. We prayed again. Leonard asked if there was a change or tingling in my head or shoulder. Nothing. But I was thankful.

Leonard then opened it up for everyone. Anyone that wanted to be prayed over could come to one of the prayer teams and receive prayer. It was powerful. Many of the teens did not have experience with charismatic prayer much less praise and worship. The visiting youth minister as well as some of the teens rested. There was even and instance of powerful spiritual battle in one of the teens. The whole group was asked to leave to remove any distractions and prayer won out. Not so simple a night. But for me, that was just the beginning.

The morning of my last day in Belcourt we had mass in the cemetery and processed around it praying 

 the Divine Mercy Chaplet. We went back to the rectory for me to pack. My flight was at 6:30AM on Sunday morning so they got me a hotel Saturday night and a taxi so we wouldn’t have to drive out at 2AM and worry about deer along the way. As we entered the rectory Fr. Tony, one of the SOLT priests, was in the entryway speaking with some of the SOLT sisters. Dorothy then did something I was not expecting. She told Fr. Tony, “Hey Fr., Chris wanted you to pray over him before he leaves.” I must have looked like a deer in headlights. I never said that! But I figured if he had time then what could it hurt?

Fr. Tony called me when he was ready and we met in the chapel. He opened up our time of prayer with the most beautiful prayer asking Mary to join us and for Jesus to pour his blood over us. He then asked me, “What do you want to pray for?” I told him my head and shoulder like the other night. Again we prayed yet nothing happened. Fr. assured me he has the gift of healing but it is not him but God working through him and sometimes he does not grant the healing so we prayed that if it is his will that I would be healed later. He then asked me, “How much time do you have?” I said I wasn’t on a strict schedule. He proceeded to empty his pockets to get more comfortable. What was I in for?

“What else do you want to pray for?” Fr. Tony asked. All I could think of in the moment was our mission so I said to pray for us as a missionary family and our mission in Dickinson, TX. He proceeded to offer it up to Jesus through Mary’s hands.

“What is your desire for your ministry?” asked Fr. I thought about it and responded that it was what it always has been, to draw teens closer to Christ. “Can we offer your desire to Mary and Jesus so that their desire becomes your desire?” He always asked permission. “Of course”, I said. And during this whole time after he’d pray and we’d enter into silence I would observe him listening and saying, “Mhmm”, “Oh,” “Ok”, etc. He would later tell me that he was just listening to Mary and asking/telling me whatever she told him as she guided him through this time of prayer. What?! This was nuts! I had never experienced anything like this before!

“Did you hear anything? Did your desire strengthen, weaken, change?” “Nothing,” I replied. “But, the only thing that stood out is a certain person’s face was clear as day in my head.” We prayed again. “Are you afraid or reluctant to be a father figure to any of your teens,” Fr. asked. “No,” I replied. “But,” I continued, “it’s interesting you mentioned that because this person that popped in my head has had a hard time with God the Father due to problems with his earthly father.” He then asked me about this person and his relationship with his father. “Can we offer this person up to Jesus through Mary?” “Of course.” “Has this person truly forgiven his father?” I told him I figured he had tried but I didn’t know for sure if there was real true forgiveness and that honestly I doubted it. We prayed.

“3 things”, he said. “1, he has to forgive his father. That’s not from me, that’s scripture, that’s the Our Father, that’s straight from Jesus. 2, it’s impossible. He can’t do it on his own. He has to ask Mary to see his father through her eyes with her heart to see that no matter what he has done or will do he is loved by her and he is her son and she wants to draw him closer to her Son. He will have to ask her to allow him to forgive his father with her heart. 3, he has to forgive everything that his father has done by name. Mary has shown me what his life will be like if he is able to do this. He will flourish, his marriage and family will flourish, and his ministry will flourish.”

Woah, this was heavy. He didn’t know this person, yet he could tell me all about him. He joked that he is no Padre Pio but that they worked together, haha. I cracked up, haha. He asked what I thought about this and the fact that I needed to help this person through this. I was open to it and found it very interesting because the day before and earlier that morning I was praying and wondering why I had come. What was I supposed to leave with. Of course I was there for the novena and to lead the teens in the evening sessions, but what did God have for me? The answer I received was “prayer”. I felt a strong call to prayer and to come back home and pray with/over people. And then this session of prayer happens!

Fr. assured me that I needed to lead this guy in this prayer. “Are you nervous or unsure about this?” “Yes,” I replied. “Why?” “I don’t know,” I said. “Can we ask Mary to reveal why you are nervous to lead this person through this prayer to lead them to forgiveness?” We prayed. “Are you worried about messing up or not doing it right,” Fr. asked. “Exactly, that’s it,” I replied. Fr. continued, “Can we ask Mary to reveal to you if she will help you through this and make up for any mistakes you might make?” We prayed, and the answer I received from her was, “Of course I will.”

Then Fr. Tony dropped the bomb, “Are you mad at yourself? Is there anything you have not forgiven yourself for?” I had no idea what he was talking about or where he was going with this. I took a good bit of time to think about it. If there was anything it was the time in college I wasted and screwed around which caused me to take 7 years to graduate. It set me back and then set my marriage back. “Can we offer this up to Jesus and ask Mary to allow you to forgive yourself with her heart.” I said of course and then proceeded to weep. Wow! This is not what I signed up for. But, the overwhelming peace that came over me was relieving. “Are you at peace,” Fr. asked. I told him yes. “Can we ask Mother Mary to reveal to you who you are to her, how she sees you?” “Yes.” In that moment she spoke to me and said, “I love you, you are my son.”

Fr. told me that if I was at peace then that is how we knew we were finished. I was. He closed in prayer and we walked out of the chapel. As we made our way out of the rectory Fr. grabbed me and said he needed to tell me something. “You have the gift of healing. You have the same gift as I do. I don’t know if it’s emotional healing, physical healing, or both. But you have it or are developing it.” Totally not expecting that to come out of his mouth, I replied, “Wow that’s interesting because for the past 3 years or so I’ve been feeling called more to charismatic prayer.” With that we parted ways. (I don't share this part of the story to make myself look a certain way but to share my experience of another's gifts from the Spirit.)

I came home and I’ve been sharing this story every chance I get. I met with my spiritual director and a friend who are both spiritual directors and charismatics and they gave me great advice on how to proceed. I prayed with my friend and it was powerful. It took us two straight hours to pray through everything he needed to forgive. I asked him what it was like for him and he came to a powerful experience of peace. He also spoke about how he had never really had a strong relationship with Mary but when we prayed that she would let him know who he was to her she told him, “You are my son, I love you.” And during our whole time of prayer he felt a feminine presence in the room.

I began to realize that yeah, I went to ND to speak, but this was orchestrated so I could come back and start my new journey. God has not stopped since. He’s been bringing people into/back into my life, in my path to encounter.

Headed home with Gandalf

Of God, Novenas, and Buffalo: Part 2: Beautiful things out of Dust

I had been waiting to hear back from Dorothy about what the theme for the novena would be. I knew I had six talks and was ready and excited to start working on them but I couldn’t without the theme for direction. I didn’t get the theme until May. The theme was “Mary’s Message”. I then asked Dorothy what were the titles/themes for each of the 6 talks. She replied, “I trust you, you can come up with them.” If someone was looking at me in that moment I probably looked like a dear in headlights for a split second. But after we hung up I immediately starting plotting out ideas and sending her my immediate thoughts of the layout of the topics for the week. But what we would later come to realize is that we were not the ones orchestrating that week.

I planned my talks pretty much without any input from Dorothy except for me sharing the possible themes for each day. Also planning his talks for that week was Fr. Moen. He was the main celebrant for most of the masses as well as the homilist for the week. He was going to be speaking about Fatima. At the same time, not related as far as we knew, Dorothy had a daily prayer regimen that she had to keep up due to her discernment of becoming a lay SOLT member. Soon we were going to be shown how all of these were connected.

We began to notice very early on that we weren’t orchestrating the week. After mass on Monday I grabbed Dorothy and ecstatically told her how Fr. Moen's homily matched up perfectly with what I was going to speak about that evening.  Dorothy, also excited, told me how her prayer that day lined up with what Fr. spoke about in his homily. This continued all week. Her prayer, Fr.’s homily, and my talks in the evening all connected. We were just taken aback and were so thankful for God showing up and showing off. We shared this with the group every chance we got, as well as with Fr. Moen.

The real test came later in the week. I did not find out until Thursday morning that our Thursday schedule and Friday schedule needed to be switched. The pastor from the neighboring parish where we were painting the rectory, wanted to show us his thanks by celebrating mass, adoration, giving us a talk, and cooking for us. Due to that I had to adjust. But of course, no matter how things got switched around, everything still lined up, Dorothy’s prayer, Fr.’s homily, and my talk.

God was making beautiful things out of our dust.

“See, I am doing something new! Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? In the wilderness I make a way, in the wasteland, rivers.” – Isaiah 3: 11

“The one who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” – Revelation 21: 5