It had been such a crazy and exciting year with a new baby and starting new ministries at church that I had not given much thought to what I was going to give up for Lent. For the past few years I've been choosing rather physically challenging fasts. But, I figured with the the added responsibilities that it would not be wise to go this route. Yet, I still wanted to shock my system, physically and spiritually. I have had a few goals I've wanted to accomplish and I found something I could do for 40 days that I could continue past the season. A couple of those goals are to wake up early to get to the gym because when I get home from work, though I love lifting, I'd rather not leave my family again to go lift. I also wanted to start getting to work earlier so that I could get home earlier. Plus, if I were up earlier I could cook breakfast, take care of the girls to let my wife sleep in, have some quiet time for prayer, and honestly, I enjoy being up earlier. In the past year the word "intentional" has been heavy on my heart, and I want to be intentional in my life and really live life with joy and to the fullest in everything I do. So, for Lent I chose to wake up at my first alarm.No snoozing or setting a later alarm. Once that alarm went off I had to get out of bed.
What I did not know is that what I now suppose is God's plan was totally going to ruin mine.Two things have happened since Lent started that have made my fast (not sleeping in/getting up at my first alarm) extremely difficult. First Adeline's (the little beauty up top) sleep schedule totally went out of whack. She would go to sleep and then be wide awake 1 and 2 AM . This happened around spring break time, which is when I was hoping to get some good sleep. It got so bad I finally decided to set up the crib and start transitioning Adeline to it, this is number two. She has not taken to the crib one bit. The most she has slept in it is 3-4 hours ONCE and then woke up. We know the reasons why it is taking a while for her to adjust, but we just have to get through this trying time.
Why do I say this extremely frustrating, physically, mentally, spiritually draining trial is a better plan? I am having to sacrifice so much more than I ever would have trying to get up at my first alarm. Over these weeks I've become much more intentional in different parts of my life. When I'm at work, I do my best to actually work and get things done. When I'm at home I try to have as much fun with my girls as possible and I try to take as much as I can off my wife's plate. We've also been intentional in trying to get time alone. The past few days have been some of the most exhausting with a 1 year old not sleeping plus I was away on retreat with 21 middle schoolers. But, I've spent so much time outside and climbing trees and walking through ditches of rain water getting muddy with my girls. I'm being forced to make the time that I'm awake and able to function count. And, at times, I'm having to force myself to slow down to actually do the things I think of so that they don't get pushed to the side, because with such lack of sleep I WILL forget.
Other than sleep, I'm sacrificing my hobby of lifting. I have goals in the gym. I want to bench 300lbs and I'm 5lbs away. I want to squat and deadlift 500lbs by the end of the year. But, like I said I don't like to go after work, except on occasions where I really need to get there which are times where I need to get there for more mental and spiritual reasons. Lifting is a great release for me. And if I'm not going to bed until the wee hours of the morning theres now way I'm going to make it to the gym by 5 or 6. I have not been in a week and there was a point when I didn't go for two weeks. That's not helpful for my progression. But, it sure is helpful for me to choose my family first and pick up in the gym where I left off later.
So no, my Lent has not gone according to plan. It has been harder than I planned. More frustrating than I planned. More angering that I expected. But I know once this season is over (the season of Adeline will continue) it will have been more fruitful than I ever could have planned by just waking up after my first alarm.
It's 2:15 AM and she's still going strong. Her fight against sleep is real!
UPDATE: It's 3:24AM. SHE GAVE IN!
